


Lost in This Winter Wonderland

by Taste_of_Suburbia



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst Bela Talbot, Britney Spears - Freeform, Christmas, Demon/Human Relationships, F/F, Flashbacks, Hallucinations, Hell, Horror, Hot Chocolate, Hotel, Hurt Bela Talbot, Hurt/Comfort, Hypothermia, Muse - Freeform, Nightmares, Protective Ruby, Romance, Ruby 1.0 - Freeform, Stranded, Torture, Traumatized Bela Talbot, snowstorm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-28
Updated: 2012-09-28
Packaged: 2017-11-15 05:33:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/523710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taste_of_Suburbia/pseuds/Taste_of_Suburbia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Okay, so Bela's having one of her not so good days, reliving hell on one of the days her girlfriend just so happens to step out for some fresh air. Worse than that, it's Christmas and with the human feeling a little unloved, Bela pretty much accepts yet another terrible day. Until she's proven wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost in This Winter Wonderland

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the prompt Bela/author's choice ~ sometimes it's just a good day, over at Code Monkeys at LJ. Because apparently, I'm not quite done with SPNfemslashweek yet. Enjoy & a Very Merry Christmas to all who read!  
> Songs Featured: Song lyrics throughout are from Muse's 'Starlight', & Britney Spears' 'Break the Ice'.  
> I'm not sure if the warning 'graphic depictions of violence' means that this should be rated M or not, but since it was previously rated T, I'm just going to leave it at that.

It’s become clear now that Bela’s going to be spending Christmas alone, trapped in a house during a raging snowstorm outside in the middle of the day, no wood in the fireplace to keep her warm and specifically, no Ruby to spend what should be a cheery holiday with her. She can pretty much bet this day will be the opposite of cheery though, in fact, it’s slowly but surely becoming one of her bad days. 

There are days when she can see him as if he were no more than four inches away, the demon who once tortured her and his apprentice, all too eager to cheer the boy on and give him plenty of ideas, specifically one hundred different ways to peel flesh off the bone, her flesh, her bones, how to make the blood run like a sickening waterfall, her blood, and flow so red and so long that she’d still be alive an hour or more later. 

The hardest part was coming back to life, able to feel that small flicker of hope flame to life within her for no more than a blessed moment before she either heard the voice of the demon torturing her slowly, not even letting her die in peace before cutting her open again, or the blade cutting her eye out, letting it hang down from its socket. 

There are some things in this world that can chase the demons away, some things that will cause her to forget the sound of her screaming…

And that something is Ruby… was Ruby… if she ever makes her way back to her on this most depressing of days. 

It’s even more depressing that it’s Christmas, not that the human ever celebrated it. She could remember a few from her childhood, glorious parties in between spurts of her father pulling her into cramped closets and having his way with her, or rather, forcing her to have her way with him. 

Those Christmases were full of nothing but tears she struggled to hold back, bruises on her arms and legs from where she was thrust into walls, doors, down the staircase, bite marks in her lips from where she fought not to scream, the smell of alcohol thick in the air, even more so when she popped open bottles of wine and drank until she convinced herself she’d be okay for the next round. 

It left her in a haze and it was better than nothing, better than looking into the eyes of a man who was supposed to love her, protect her from what he himself was doing, better than continuing to fight back the sobs that would as soon wrench her small form apart as have her body endure a whole new set of vibrant black and blue bruises, which all too resembled chaotic paintings on the all too pale canvas she was. 

At least Ruby knows what she had gone through, had fought to chase those demons away and gave her little reason to chug copious amounts of wine. 

At least Ruby is usually here most of the time… just not today. 

 

There’s a container of cheap hot chocolate in the top cupboard, near the small refrigerator that makes up the kitchenette of the suite her demon had booked them into last Tuesday, a bed that isn’t yet made up but screams warmth and comfort and the remaining smell of Ruby from their little cuddle session last night. 

There’s so many reasons to just sit herself down at the table in the tiny kitchen, too many reasons not to cry and just wait it out, convincing herself that Ruby will be back before nightfall, and that it’s already the middle of the afternoon and she’s already done great so far, avoided looking at her body for more than five minutes in the bathroom so as not to catch her all too clear physical flaws. 

She’s already spent half the morning in bed, an hour and a half in the shower dousing herself awake and keeping herself calm with cool water, becoming giddy because she expected Ruby to be back and waiting for her when she stepped out. 

Ruby wasn’t there, Bela only ended up wrapping a towel around herself, blow drying her hair, and rushing outside for utterly nothing except for an empty room as empty as her shot hopes and expectations. 

_Our hopes and expectations..._   
_Black holes and revelations…_   
_I’ll never let you go…_   
_If you promise not to fade away, never fade away…_

Bela stands staring at the flowery wallpaper of the kitchen for what she suspects must be quite a while, before collapsing into the nearest chair and contemplating for about the twentieth time whether she should drink some hot chocolate or not. It might warm her up a little, after her bearable cool shower she’s grown considerably colder, not too surprising because she hasn’t one log of wood for the fireplace and entirely unsuitable clothes. 

She hasn’t had any need for warmer clothes, after all, her and Ruby have spent much of their relationship together in hotel suites, tumbling together in the dark, ordering room service, exchanging stories and kisses and other things which make her smile as she sits alone, arms crossed and mind begging to be other places than this freezing hotel room. 

What she wouldn’t give for a nice warm fur coat right about now. 

The thing is, Ruby doesn’t really get cold, maybe it’s from being in hell for too long or an entirely different matter. Not that it does matter, the demon is always more than enough to sufficiently warm the human. 

Her mind immediately rushes back to reality, like a deer caught in the headlights, at the lightning speed of a car crash as she hurries over to the window, listening to the wind picking up and the snow rushing around in increasingly huge flurries outside. It’s so fierce out there that her windows are shaking as she draws the blinds tighter across them. 

Looking at all that snow isn’t doing her much good, only making her colder. 

Where is she… Alaska?

She sighs loudly, maybe if she calls room service they can bring something up for her. 

Her fingers fumble the phone for purchase, slipping more than once in her attempt to warm them and let the blood flow normally again. They’re perhaps more numb than they should be at this point. She’s entirely lost track of time, she realizes as she looks over at the digital clock. It’s much later than she realized and what had she even been doing? 

Certainly not enough for it to be growing so late. 

Her fingers press the buttons on the old fashioned pastel pink telephone as she holds it a little shakily to her ear, impatiently waiting for the ringing to go away and replace itself with the sound of another person.

“I’m sorry, the number you’ve just dialed is currently out of service.”

Bela huffs and dials again, only to be met with the exact same cold message, of no use whatsoever to her and the tone of voice used not making her any warmer and any less pissed off. 

She slams the phone down and paces the room, eventually rushing towards the bed and yanking the thin comforter off it to wrap around herself, heading towards the kitchen next to make herself that hot chocolate after all. 

The young woman ends up fumbling with the container for longer than should seem normal and decent, fingers constantly slipping off it while she fights to get the damn cover off so she can allow her body the gift of warming itself up at least a little. 

Guess she can’t have that either. 

She ends up cursing after about ten minutes since she first set out on this task, and slams the container at the ground, eyeing the dent it forms in the bottom cabinet, caring about it with no ounce of sympathy.

What… is the hotel empty?

“Fuck.”

 

She’s done sitting around. 

The bed isn’t getting any warmer since she first sat down on it about six minutes prior, if that isn’t bad enough it’s also quickly losing the scent of her girlfriend. 

Bela can’t keep on feeling sorry for herself though, if she can’t get anyone on the phone, which by the way, she did try about another eight times, she’s not going to be able to stay in here by any means. It’s only going to get colder now that she’s realized the snowstorm inflicting its fury on this small town is only getting worse, bad enough for the night quickly coming to become terribly cold. 

And with no warm clothes, blankets that are about as thin as some of the quilts she fondly remembers she once possessed for those hot summer nights, Bela’s not going to make it through the night. 

Bela looks outside the window once more, taking note of where the woods border the hotel, which by the way is in the middle of nowhere, noticing that it’s not as far as she previously thought and she might just make it. She wonders if maybe she’ll be able to knock on other doors and ask politely for some thicker blankets or something of the sort, if she is planning the somewhat suicidal task of heading out alone. 

If she could only call Ruby. 

Though Ruby isn’t exactly the type to carry a cell phone, she tends to just pop up whenever the human least expects her and whenever it’s the perfect time for her. If she was here, Bela’s sure she’d try to strangle her because of this very moment. 

Her body is starting to shake a little more, which only causes her to press on and realize that she better stop dawdling and start acting. With one last try of the phone, she bundles the comforter tighter around her and heads for the door, fingers turning the handle just seconds before she feels it stir within her, drop her to the ground before she can remember to fight to maintain an upright position. 

_No no no… not right now you son of a bitch…_

“Dammit," she grits out through her teeth, hand still on the doorknob but she quickly pulls it down, wrapping it around herself as her other hand finds purchase on her head, a raging headache coming on, threatening to tear her apart and distracting her from doing what she needs to do. 

She’ll be damned if the floor isn’t colder than anything else in the room. Bela warily eyes the closed blinds, the discarded container of hot chocolate that probably tasted like dirt anyway, warm dirt however. She forces herself up after a few moments only to be pushed down again by the sudden onslaught of hell, her tormenter calling her and all she feels she can do at this point is succumb, succumb to the realization that she isn’t getting out of here anytime soon. 

_Ruby… when you get back you’re definitely gonna have a surprise waiting for you. A frozen corpse that is your girlfriend practically attached to the disgusting carpet this suite has, hands clutching her head and hazel eyes open forevermore…_

She succumbs to the raging red blood… the burning black shade… the blade and his possessor…

 

A cough shakes her out of her unwilling sleep, one that bubbles up from deep within her throat and leaves her breathless for several minutes after its departure. Her hand brushes over her face tiredly before her eyes are able enough to open completely, glancing around the room and primarily, at her sprawled out position on the floor.

_It was so real… like I was already back there…_

She’s even more exhausted than she was before she crashed to the floor, which isn’t surprising because she knows dropping into unconsciousness isn’t really sleep at all, if anything it’s only putting a greater strain on the body. 

And where the fuck is Ruby, why isn’t she back yet?

The human lifts herself up on her weak elbows, blinking a few times before her blurry gaze lands on the digital clock. She’d only been out for two hours, when it felt so much like two decades. 

_How the blade had sliced open my throat so slowly… so delicately… before it went crashing into my cheek and the black had come rushing up on me so fast…_

It takes her a few minutes but overall she’s pleased that it doesn’t take her too long to get back up on her feet, brushing herself off as well as she is able with the shaking in her hands increasing because her core temperature is constantly falling. The freezing floor hasn’t been kind to her, and it’s almost like the comforter wasn’t there at all. 

She thinks about going back to the bathroom, to freshen up a little but what’s the point? The hotel’s probably abandoned and she really needs to get out of this room with the broken air conditioner and not so distant dreams of the pit.

Her fingers turn the knob again and she breathes a sigh of relief. No more nightmares. Instead she walks confidently out of her lavish room, the door slamming shut behind her suddenly and she nearly jumps three feet in the air, head knocking none too lightly against the wall. 

Bela curses and continues on, knocking on the door several feet from hers to no avail. She walks slowly but with purpose, trying what must be about five more doors and even pressing her ear to them all to hear nothing, no whispers or TV voices broadcasting the worsening snowstorm. 

She can hear it from where she’s at in fact, the hotel standing its ground but the human wonders whether it’ll crash to the ground with her still inside it. 

_Ruby… there will be payback… that’s for sure…_

Bela wants to be mad but she’s cold instead, a chill that’s settling down deep within her bones, flowing through her veins in a rush, traveling to her heart and trying to break down its barriers, let the ice settle in and freeze her from the inside out.

Her hands move the comforter closer to the area where her heart lies almost mechanically. 

Being on the second floor, she figures there won’t be many steps and she’s ultimately right, if not for the fact that they’re none too easy to handle. 

She stumbles several times, hands clutching the railing as she forces herself to go slower, all amongst small flashbacks from not only her nightmare but her past, the same blade, bloodied beyond belief, never growing sick of finding purchase in the demon’s hand, never failing to cut her flesh open to his glee, to the laughter of his master, never faltering Bela’s pleas and screams and professed love for Ruby, begging her even to take her away like the useless, pathetic, crybaby little human she was, is. 

_Come on, Bela. Toughen up, you’re stronger than this._

Upon finally reaching the lobby, she unsteadily leaves the last step and on wobbly feet, approaches the desk and crawls into the skinny opening, searching around the claustrophobic area for the phone. 

Dialing… dialing… dialing…

“I’m sorry…”

She slams the phone back down and curses, looking outside the nearest window and deciding now’s a better time than any. 

“Hello, anybody here?” She screams as she steps ever closer to the door leading outside, the only thing that stands in her way of getting warm again. 

And Bela will risk anything to get warm again, her fingers are barely working now without some prolonged flexing to increase the blood flow. 

It’s unbelievable really, the rudeness of such inconsiderate people, completely forgetting to tell her they were planning on leaving. It could have just been a simple call to her room, even someone yelling outside her door. She, well Ruby, has paid good money for this place and look what they get in return. 

Bela’s really screwed this time. 

The lobby is a little warmer down here even the only thing that separates it from the snowstorm is this one door she stands in front of. The fireplace is long since dead, logs reduced to sawdust or mere scraps of wood. 

If she’s going to do this, which she is, she’s going to have to do it now. 

_Bela, don’t…_

As if Ruby can tell her what to do now, she’s not the one freezing her ass off here. 

The human turns the knob and enters the twisted winter wonderland. 

 

The wind nearly whips her off her unsteady feet, almost throws her back inside before she can manage to get the door shut behind her. She stares back at the hotel for only a moment, tries to remember the warmth that wasn’t really there at all, but already looking a million times better than staying out here. 

It won’t last long though, she knows this and because of this she’s not afraid. 

Bela Talbot isn’t afraid of anything. 

She whips back around to face the woods, checking the buckles of her high heeled boots before they sink further into the snow that’s already a few inches deep. She stares down at the cold mush beneath her, ruining her boots and because of this she curses, not that she should be worrying about that at a time like this. 

The night is growing dark, pitch black even and the human figures it must be around eight o’clock. Any other situation and she would normally be cooped up in that motel room on the second floor, which is fitted to all her high standards, curled up on the bed with her girlfriend, sipping hot chocolate, listening to some classical music, the fireplace working properly and warming their entwined bodies so fully they can focus entirely on each other’s eyes and kissing. 

Bela huffs a few times to make herself feel better, to better prepare herself for what’s to come next. It would be infinitely easier if she had one of those gorgeous mink coats but oh my gosh… enough is enough. 

_Buck up, Bela. And get walking…_

And with that Bela Talbot trudges through the snow, hoping the wind doesn’t pick up anymore because honestly, this is bad enough. 

She’s not wearing proper clothing and her boots aren’t even winter boots, but the human knows complaining isn’t getting her anywhere, in fact, it’s making her rethink this whole stupid mission she has in her head of warming herself up, which probably won’t work in the slightest and she’s known it all along. 

The human’s been blaming Ruby this entire time now and no matter how much blame she places on her demon, no matter how many times she might call out for her, Ruby isn’t coming. 

She can’t hear a single goddamn word she’s saying and Bela only feels more like a fool. 

_Ruby can’t hear a fucking word…_

About five minutes later she can’t feel her face, especially her cheeks, and she barely feels her legs either because, oh yeah, she’s wearing jeans and leather boots only meant for summer, not negative degree weather and snow raining down on her colder than a thunderstorm. 

She grits her teeth, pulls the comforter closer to her when she knows she should probably just drop it for all the good it’s doing her. Not to mention she somehow manages to maintain a steady pace even though the snow is constantly growing beneath her at an exponential rate, and she’s seconds away from ripping her boots off because of their miniscule protection. 

It’s also getting much harder for her to walk with them on, heels digging into the snow and it becomes harder with every step to pull them back out of the slush. 

Bela is lost in the woods ten minutes later, no longer able to see the small hotel or the parking lot. She wishes for its extra warmth so desperately now as her hair is ruined by snow that just won’t stop falling no matter how hard she pleads, her spirits chased away by the wind starting to pick up again and the snow whipping around her harshly. 

_What am I doing? Ruby, please tell me what I am doing…_

She turns around, wondering if her luck will run out if she attempts to retrace her steps, go back because it’s proven now, maybe always was but was lodged so deeply inside the recesses of her mind, proven that she has much better chances trapped in that dusty, freezing hotel. 

It doesn’t matter anyway though, while she may be a good tracker it’s no use in this winter wonderland, the snow has already covered the markings her high heels have created, leaving no trace that she had ever trekked into these woods in the first place. 

Bela’s lost… hopelessly, irrevocably lost. 

She doesn’t even have an ax to chop the damn wood, so what is she doing out here?

The poor human breathes hard, closing her eyes as her mind flashes between past and present again, the last thing she needs at this point but what use is there to beg? Willing it away won’t make it go away, it’ll only make it come back stronger, with a sickening vengeance. 

_Oh, Bela. Come out, come out come out to play. That’s it, Bela. Poor helpless little Bela._

Her head whips around in every possible direction made available to her, eyes falling on the trees all around, the snow cradling her in a cold and malicious embrace. 

_And there will come a day when you will have to face it, to get back to reality doesn’t mean you’ll get lucky and banish it away with your nonexistent powers just like that._

Bela opens and closes her eyes, hoping to brush away the flecks of snow falling on her eyelashes. They just keep coming back though, no matter how often she does it. 

Her boots sink further down into the slush, the comforter drops from around her shoulders, freeing her heart from precious safety, opening it to the snowstorm that envelops her completely now. 

_Come on, Bela. You know better than that._

She growls. 

_Come and get me asshole._

Without a word her hand barely reaches inside her jacket pocket, on nothing other than instinct, returning with a revolver. 

_Where the hell did I get that?_

She closes her eyes and tries to remember something… anything at all. Everything’s becoming so distant now. 

_Just in case, Bel. Keep it before I knock you out with it, stubborn ass._

Guess Ruby was right after all. 

She points it at one of the trees a near distance from her. They all seem to whisper, these trees even though she knows it’s the same demon that she has known for so incredibly long. Still, he’s probably around here somewhere. 

_You’re out here to face yourself… so just face yourself._

Bela thinks of that movie _Fight Club_ , where that guy had to shoot himself at the end of the film, in the mouth actually, to get rid of the other man inside of him who had consumed him for months prior. 

She grimaces. 

Looks like she’s gonna have to compromise a little. 

Her hand, which is shaking so badly now that she thinks her lips, her entire face must be turning blue, moves the gun towards another tree. She’s breathing hard as she supports her hand with her other one, both shaking unbelievably hard as they clutch the revolver with such desperation. She thinks she must be sweating with how much panicking she’s doing, the voices in her head and around her driving her insane. 

_Who knows how many bullets I have in this, and it has to be the right tree._

Bela moves back to the previous one. 

_That’s it, Bela. Catch me if you can._

She breathes and focuses, what else can she do?

_Ruby…_

With one last heavy tremor wracking throughout her frail and suffering form, Bela Talbot tumbles towards the snow covered ground, not sure she’ll ever get back up again. 

 

_Oh, Bela. Look what you’ve done to yourself now._

She looks down to see him, Alexandre, blade slipping out so discreetly from a small crevice underneath where she’s chained up, nails lodged in her hands so painfully deep as they hold them to wood boards, chains wrapped around her waist and feet, keeping her firmly against the bed of metal shards behind her. 

One little push, that’s it, and her back will be picked apart by hundreds of those shards, all sharpened to her possessor’s perfection, dull silver flickering in the burgundy red flames perilously close to her form. 

She hears a scream somewhere close but doesn’t turn her head away from him in shock, like she would once do before she knew better. Alexandre is the kind of demon who wants all her attention placed on him, and looking away is pretty much pointless because the screams only belong to another her, a girl just as desperate to escape but met with everlasting agony instead. 

Just another day in the hell life. 

Bela’s gotten used to her naked body, no longer feels shame because no one here has clothes and if they do they certainly don’t wear them. The way the demon looks at her though is very undesirable, her skinny form and beautiful breasts held on display for him to admire, cut into and make them more beautiful when all he’s doing is ruining them. 

When she dies, the next time she wakes, they’re all back to normal though. Her flesh is stitched back together and a minute hope rekindled, until he’s ready to carve another so called ‘masterpiece’ out of her. 

This isn’t what bothers her though, glancing down to see her mangled body not even resembling a human form, guts spilling out of her belly, blood lining every square inch of her, feet cut up into bloody shreds of tainted pulp. 

_And how are we today, Bela?_

She leaves her face still and emotionless, something she’s accomplished quite well after a decade or so. Until the blade cuts into her, that is. But when he speaks to her Bela doesn’t much care anymore, when he taunts her, torments her, says things that still shake her but she won’t let it show anymore. 

Not even through the pain will she let it be made known that he affects her. 

His actions, his small talk, the way he slices into her so delicately and slowly to not only prolong the pain, she fears, but also to admire her for as long as possible. 

It’s been hard for her to look into a mirror ever since she came out of the pit, to see her body no longer torn apart by the greedy hands of her master, to see that she is not flawless like she was once led to believe before she was dragged down to the fires of hell. 

Some days she wishes to watch her blood flow again, to cover up all the parts of her she doesn’t like, wishes away but is too afraid to do anything about. It’s almost like Alexandre still owns her, even when Ruby makes her forget all about those little blemishes, basks in them and leaves no trace behind that she ever thought less of her human, somewhat human, girlfriend. 

The thing is, Bela knows that she isn’t back, knows that the touch of Ruby could not be faked for these past few months since her return. Not even Alexandre could mimic her style, lips, eyes, no matter how long he arduously attempted to do so. 

Sure, he got her look spot on but Bela always knew her Ruby, even if she spent less than a month with her before she grew to understand the ways and means of the demon who so delights in carving her into maybe, a better her.

Here’s the truth, Bela never had a doubt beyond that first month that Alexandre loved her, so completely and so twistedly that often the tarnished, tainted human would forget it. Sure, it wasn’t a match for the love Ruby had for her, but it was still somewhere within him by the way he always chose her when countless other younger and far more beautiful girls were dangled in front of his begging for permission blade. 

He shoved all of them away, to form a more likeable her, to prove all his time would be spent on her forevermore. That he would never look away from her and towards another. 

_Oh, Bela. You’ll always be my precious girl._

And the way he said it was so freakishly wrong, put Ruby’s own words to shame because she could not doubt Alexandre. 

Now that she’s back, inside her mind which is the only place left where her darkest desires, cruel past remains, she may know that it’s not real but that doesn’t mean it feels any less real. 

_Miss me, Alexandre?_

He smiles with a smile that’s invaded her every lingering thought, every living moment for as long as she can bear to remember. 

_You know me, Bela._

‘I do’, she thinks, even though her thoughts are spoken words in this place, ‘even though I don’t want to know anything about you’. 

The human knows this is a test, that this is her chance to break through, so she tries, very very hard, her head rewarding her with another splitting headache as she fights her way out of hell, away from Alexandre and the shadows of the raging flames that would lick her and consume her as feverishly as the flames themselves. 

There’s a flash of the snow, of her as a little girl twirling in her backyard alone, her periwinkle blue dress billowing out around her as she laughs happily, collapses in the snow to make snow angels, long before she knew that angels existed. 

And then there’s her shape on the ground, gun fallen out of her hands but so close to her that if she just reaches for it with every ounce of strength she has left…

_Oh, Bela…_

As soon as reality is close enough to grasp, she doesn’t waste another precious moment because she knows this is her lost shot. 

The human fumbles for her revolver, fingers crawling their way through thick and cold as death snow. As soon as she feels it in her hands, with her blue fingers, she revels in it and knows this is over. 

It’s all over. 

Bela aims it and fires in an attempt to ignite her frozen heart. 

 

There’s screaming and curses thrown at her like tomatoes which only make her bloodier, angrier, more satisfied because they’re all starting to fade away now, the demons, their weapons, her form chained up on the rack in the pit is disappearing so fast and Bela knows it’s working. 

The bullet has done its job successfully. 

And then… Alexandre shatters into a million tiny shards, metal cutting her lightly until every piece explodes, throwing her far, rushing her back towards reality. 

She’s won. 

_Ruby, I’ve won._

 

Her eyes flicker open to the snow brushing against her softly, lightly as if congratulating her on her win, giving her a much needed break that she was so positive she never would have gotten. 

Bela’s hair is completely white, only specks of its original brunette color showing through the cold and unrelenting pure white color. Her hands are stretched out before her, fingers limp and blue and she’s not surprised that she can’t feel them. 

Who knows how long she’s been lying out here?

She brushes the cold, wet snow off her face with the top of one of her hands, a slight tingling indicating they’re not fully frozen yet. Her boots are soaked through and snow has seeped in to attack her chilled feet. Bela’s not even sure she’ll be able to walk after all this. 

But, things are looking up. She’s defeated her inner demons that have existed for far too long, and she feels much better about coming out here now. 

_Just get up on your knees first, then take it from there._

She listens to the voice inside her head, scrunching her body up a little, painfully slowly before she finds purchase on the snow with her shivering knees. 

Her eyes are closing fast but she has no time, her last goal is to get back to that damn hotel, no matter how long it takes, no matter how much it rips out of her. 

Hell’s not here to get in her way now. 

Bela tries several times to get up on her feet, even though by the first time of collapsing back hard into the snow, she all too well knows that this is a lost cause and an utter waste of time. Her legs are useless, even more so than her arms and Bela can’t even feel her jeans anymore. She feels naked and uncomfortable and lies dying, gasping now as Ruby’s name rips its way out of her throat, once, twice, and then in its third attempt it dies before reaching her lips and shoves her face back into the snow. 

The human is so exhausted, so cold, so ready to give up but she still has fight left in her. 

And she’ll be damned if she doesn’t put it to good use. If not for her… for Ruby. 

With the comforter long gone now, there’s really no sense in trekking back to find it, it’s probably lost under piles of snow not wanting to be found, there is nothing to hinder her crawl except her own exhaustion, nothing there to take away this moment that is her last test. 

If she can make it back inside the lobby, she has a chance. 

So Bela strains her body as much as she can, pushing herself forward with her arms, fingers digging into the cold mush and throwing herself forward as quickly as possible. Her head is a puddle of that same mush now, unable to think or form a thought, let alone call out to Ruby again. 

Not that she’ll be coming. 

And then Bela’s gone, hotel still unseen, just a brief moment after she sees a faint outline of golden hair and those all too familiar yet seemed so long gone words…

_My angel…_

 

Ruby doesn’t have to take long to search their room, or their hotel, to know that Bela isn’t anywhere in it. And the demon can scarcely think about where she is without relying on her gut instinct to tell her that she isn’t safe, lost in the snowstorm somewhere. 

She slams the door open and saunters outside, the snow rushing around her more than just slightly annoying and the cold, even though it doesn’t affect her, the cold warning her that if Bela is out in this weather, even if the snowstorm has died down considerably, it doesn’t spell out anything remotely good for her. 

What the fuck is wrong with her girlfriend?

Stubborn stubborn Bela. Never able to do what she’s told, never able to understand what’s best for her. Even if the room is cold, that doesn’t mean anything. 

Now she has her demon girlfriend going out to hunt for her, worrying her so she might actually have a heart attack. 

_Thanks a lot, Bela._

Ruby walks on, making sure she doesn’t get lost in the woods like Bela probably already has, knowing if… when she does find her she’ll need to get her back quickly.   
Her life may very well depend on it. 

And the second she finishes this thought she catches a glimpse of her, lying face down in the snow, hand sprawled out before her as if reaching out for something, a savior, hoping to make just another inch before she gives in to the cold tormenting her body. 

The snow finally gaining purchase and taking her without a moment’s hesitation into its frozen arms. 

_Fuck, Bela._

She lifts her girlfriend up in her arms, brushing hair out of her face while kissing her gently, and carries her back to their temporary home. 

 

“You want some hot chocolate?”

“Yeah," Bela smiles a little, lifting herself up from the mountain of comforters and blankets she’s been bundled into little less than an hour ago, by her girlfriend who finally decided to show up. 

Before her body would allow her to freeze to death. 

Ruby hands her one of the steaming hot mugs warming up her own hands, which have been hard at work for that past hour in warming Bela up. She then slips in beside her, embracing her still relatively chilled to the bone human, as Bela turns on her side and snuggles up close to her, showering in her intense heat, the clothes that smell of peppermint and cinnamon. 

Ruby’s eyes have now calmed from their initial anger and at this moment hold nothing that Bela can see but genuine love.

Bela hasn’t realized before this moment how much she aches for that love. She’s been down in the pit for so long that she had forgotten most of what it felt like and now… it’s all too savored and all too appreciated. 

A finger strokes down her cheek before Ruby kisses her forehead gently, wrapping an arm around Bela and her eyes almost fade to black but manage to control themselves around her still shivering girlfriend, not wanting to frighten her. 

Still, Ruby won’t forget Bela’s stupidity, or her near destruction from hypothermia, a stupid little thing called snow that was mere seconds away from taking her under and never to be seen again by her demon. 

Not under Ruby’s watch though. 

“Just so you know, Bels. If you ever die on me, I’m gonna kick your ass right back here so you can tell me straight to my face why you left me here alone.”

Bela nods, knowing better than to laugh at Ruby’s words because the demon cares too much for her and she realizes it all to be true. Ruby’s gotten her out of hell once and she’s certain to do it again if Bela pushes her. 

It’s hard to stay too serious around Ruby though, especially in this situation. Bela really wants to laugh at it all already, with her demon back and all, and Ruby must realize this for she smiles sweetly before kissing Bela and adjusting the blankets on her healing figure. 

_Let me break the ice…_   
_Allow me to get you right…_   
_Let you warm up to me…_   
_Baby I can make you feel…_   
_Hot hot hot hot…_

Bela sips her hot chocolate slowly, hesitantly looking over to see Ruby gazing at her with curiosity. 

She clears her throat, “What?”

The demon touches Bela’s face gently, “He definitely left his mark on you.”

Bela sighs, “I doubt it’ll ever go away.”

Ruby rests her head on Bela’s stomach, sighing softly and causing the human to run her fingers through her golden locks. 

“What?”

“I just," the demon shakes her head, “I wonder sometimes…”

Bela looks down at her more carefully, and even though her demon is turned away from her she prides herself on knowing that she can still read her like an open book. 

“Wonder if hell can ever leave a person. After all we’ve been through, Bels," she glances up at the human and tries to create a small smile to reassure her that she’ll always look after her, “doesn’t it drive you crazy that it’s never far behind? It’s not even just the blood, but the loss of humanity. Like…”

“Shhh," Bela’s hand stills in her hair, she feels remarkably better now that Ruby’s back, rejuvenated not only physically but emotionally. 

Somehow, this talk they’re having is making her stronger, because she never would have guessed Ruby thought about any of this at all. She seemed so distant, so cold from these musings of the pit that the human often wondered if she would ever be able to share, connect with her. 

Who knew that it would take her nearly turning into an ice cube to finally give her girlfriend the extra push to open up? 

“It doesn’t help to think about it, Ruby. You saved me and that’s all that matters, I finally get that now. There’s no need to banish the darkness, to denounce all reflections, there’s not even any reason to accept it. Just to move on, cope. To live again.”

“With someone you want to spend the rest of your life with," Ruby seems to echo from somewhere deep within her human, looking up into Bela’s eyes and finally realizing her rightful place.

At her human’s side, no matter how many memories must be faced, no matter how much shame she could bring down upon her. 

_To live again._

“Merry Christmas, Rubes.”

Bela watches the snowflakes fall from the sky outside her window, luminescent and holding a purity that can only be seen in the backdrop of twilight. Sometimes, life can be so beautiful. 

“Merry Christmas, Bela.”

**FIN**


End file.
